What you can expect from me
Dear Critic,
It’s time… that you grew up and started being more useful, then you have been: sitting on the side lines and yelling in my ear when I’ve made both small and huge errors, as any human being has. I know that — other than being critical — you don’t really know how else to act. That’s why I made this blog: to inform you, to teach you, and to love you into becoming the receptive, discerning, and wise being that I need you to be.
Fair Warning: I won’t be playing nice with you, nor will I be mean. I’m not going to defend myself, justify when I am wrong, nor will I be critical of you in turn. Instead, I will be courageous, honest, compassionate, and challenging with you.
Whole-heartedly Yours,
David J. Jurasek
4 Comments
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Dear Critic... 
Dear David,
There is no fail. What we are is the universe experiencing itself. Nothing more, but also nothing less.
Instead of thinking “What did I do wrong?”, contemplate the experience you just had, and ask “What did I learn? How did I grow?”. Embrace everything that happens to you as if you had chosen it.
Mistakes (AKA failures) are the key to wisdom and humility. Embrace them. Celebrate them. Laugh about them. If you are lucky, you will have a life filled with mistakes, each one another source of wisdom and laughter.
Thank you for your gift of Playback Theatre. You cannot imagine how wonderful I feel, making mistakes in such a warm, supportive environment.
Be well, and screw up often!
Your friend,
Jim
What a wonderful perspective! Looking forward to reading about how you communicate to your critic. I sure need to help my critic be more helpful.
Many heartfelt thanks,
Maria
Jim,
I love your response.This blog is exactly that, my clumsy and human and beautiful attempt at making mystakes and then mining them for the wisdom they may squirt out!
I appreciate your comment for its honesty and wisdom, I do look forward to us playing more!
Your grateful friend,
David
The inner critic is a fascinating critter. I read somewhere that every part of us is actually there to help us (although I haven’t yet figured out how this applies to the ego, which does not appear to serve any useful purpose).
I believe that fundamentally, the inner critic wants to be a friend. Wants to help. Wants to protect us from pain, and embarrassment, and all the other troubles of life. It wants us to be safe. It gets frustrated because we don’t listen, and continue to make mistakes and be imperfect. I’m thinking the key perhaps is to love the inner critic, thank it for its concern and love, and gently let it know that sometimes mistakes have to be made, and risks need to be taken. The critic is our fear, which we need to acknowledge, but not become slaves to (easier said than done!)
Point being, I think the critic can be an ally, but it has to be a servant, not the master. It has to understand that it exists to serve our needs, not the other way around, and that we’re not always going to listen to it, because we have to keep walking the path, which is full of experiences, including a few scraped knees. The inner critic wants everything to be under control, all the time, and that just ain’t how the world works.
The inner critic can be a lot like parents that worry too much.
I’m reminded of the time a few years ago when my folks were attempting to deliver a lecture to me, and I smiled and gently reminded them that I was ten years older than they were when they had me. That blew their minds.
My own kids (all 3 of them) do the same. They want to strike out and push their envelope. I have to bite my tongue a lot.
Still a work in progress,
I remain,
Jim